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Sh*t My Husband Says | Driver’s Ed

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The last time my husband drove was allegedly November 2010 when he drove about a mile to get a card from Hallmark. I remember it more like December 2009! Before we left Norfolk, when we still had two cars!

I drive him to work. I drive us to meals and on dates. I just do. I can’t remember the last time I was in the passenger seat… before tonight.

Tomorrow hubs starts his new job and we’re kind of unsure on the hours. There is nothing worse than a Department Head sitting around waiting for his wife to pick him up! We decided he would drive tomorrow. So tonight when we were leaving dinner I asked if he wanted to practice driving. He told me he just drove the other day and would be fine. Correction: he moved the car from the curb to the garage. This in my book does not qualify as “driving”. We ate dinner maybe two miles from the house.

When we got in the car it was so awkward to buckle my seatbelt on the left side of my body, to reach a little further for the radio, to not have control over the vehicle! Hubs kind of accelerated quickly once we were on Main Street and my heart fluttered at the thought of me not being in control of the brakes. Then I noticed something I had forgotten all about: Hubs drives with two feet! His right is always on the gas pedal and his left is always on the brake pedal. He lifts on one and presses down on the next.

I mentioned that I forgot, asked if he just didn’t know how to drive with one foot and he says:

“Yeah, I tried it once, it’s not for me.”

I suddenly remember why I drive us everywhere.

About Elizabeth

Paleo wife on 150lb weightloss journey documenting life, marriage, health & military move to Okinawa! Tough Mudder (Nov '12) and Stella & Dot Stylist!

3 responses »

  1. Haha this is funny! It is so hard to drive with 2 feet and really not good for the car if he gases and brakes at the same time, but haha Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Its also a sign of someone who is use to a standard. I use to own a Mitshubisti Galant it was standard. Long after I no longer owned the car I tried to drive my SIL (sister in laws) car…also a Mitshubisti Galant. My brain could not figure out her’s was not a standard and my feet were all over the place…one on gas, one on break…what’s funnier is I didn’t have this mind issue with my parents Expidition. I currently own an automatic, but love driving a standard. Don’t ask me why its hard to explain. Has your hubby ever drove a standard? It sure sounds like it from the “feet all over the place” description…if not, maybe ya’ll should consider a remedial drivers ed class .

  3. HAHAHAAH! I had to learn to drive my dad’s standard before I could drive my mom’s automatic. I remember I’d been driving with 2 feet and one of the only times my mom road with me while getting my driving hours in for my permit, she noticed. And she yelled at me! Apparently it’s dangerous too..I had no idea! Needless to say, I never did that again! Until…a few months ago my truck started acting up and I was having to keep my foot on the gas while at a stop light…it was the strangest thing ever! I finally got used to braking with my left food and my truck got fixed!! I still accidentally do it every once in a while. Or if my right foot gets tired, I’ll let my lefty take over! hahaha.


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